You Know You Are Ghetto If......
251. You put your kids to sleep with NyQuil.
252. You use your welfare check as collateral.
253. You can read your haircut.
254. You use a toothbrush to style your "baby hair".
255. You named your daughters after cars you can't afford.
256. You bought your rims before you bought your car.
257. Your fingernails are longer than your fingers.
258. You think jury duty is a good way to make money.
259. You think going on a diet means no candy.
260. You have a drawer in your kitchen just for condiments from fast-food restaurants.
261. You steal free samples at the store.
262. You've ever stole a 40oz. from the liqour store.
263. You use plain rubbing alcohol as deoderant.
264. You throw a pool party using a fire hidrent.
265. your kids ask you for food stamps to go to the candy store.
266. You know you ghetto if you sneak a 40oz. into church.
267. Your grandma is less than 39 years old.
268. You don't have a birthday cake so you out candles on a pizza.
269. You carry a bottle of hot suace in your purse.
270. You moved out of state to go to community college.
271. You own ANY hair beads.
272. "You know your ghetto when the first word to come out of your mouth is YO" (submitted by "Jose")
273. You eat a sandwich that does not contain any meat.(i.e. mayonnaise sandwich).
274. You are grown when you finally find out that milk doesn't come from a white powder.
275. You try to use old soap residue to make a new bar of soap.
276. You wear anything that says anything simular to, "Ain't No Limit" or "RIP Tupac".
277. your address is written on the front of your house in chalk.
278. your moms turns on the stove to heat the house.
279. you know what a 'choke' sandwich is.
280. you remember the dance Rerun used to do on 'What's Happenin.'
281. you use duct tape to hold your sneeks together.
282. you rip brand name labels off old jeans and sew them on no-name jeans.
283. you use rubberbands to hold up your socks.
284. you feed your dog left-over grits and spoiled food.
285. you have a hot plate in your closet.
286. you are stupid enough to light a firecracker in your pocket.
287. your pops is fixing up the house and it is constantly under construction.
288. you see old men sitting on the steps in boxer shorts.
288. you buy candy wax lips.
289. your moms has that type of plastic covering on the furniture that can cut you.
290. you have a hologram of Jesus on your wall. Look at it one way, he has his eyes open. Look at it another and his eyes are closed.
291. your moms has a velvet painting hanging in the living room with a nude black woman on it with a zodiac sign.
292. you did a backspin on concrete.
293. your mother still thinks Teena Marie is the bomb.
294. your pops still owns a Parliament Funkadelic album.
295. Koolaid is the only drink in the house.
296. you play basketball on a milk crate...or a cardboard box.
297. you make a slingshot or top shooter.
298. you remember when Atari was the bomb.
299. you painted the stripes on your shell-tip adidas.
300. you owned a pair of Cazals.
301. moms used to use her saliva to wipe your face.
302. you know who the 5 Deadly Venoms are. (If you can name them, email me)
303. you did not care what people said about your pops but you lost your mind when they said something about your moms.
304. you threw your old sneakers up on the telephone wires.
305. a fried baloney sandwich was given to you as a treat.
306. you had blocks of government cheese in your freezer.
307. you saw 'Cooley High' in the movies.
308. you filled a bucket up and threw water in an open bus window as it was passing by.
309. you remember when your moms took you to the movie and she brought potato salad, fried chicken and a big bag of chips.
310. you have been chased home way too many times.
311. you get spooked while camping in the woods because there are no street lights.
312. you had to be in the house before the street lights came on.
313. you used to wear parachute pants.
314. you think you are in the suburbs everytime you see grass.
315. roaches are viewed as household pets.
316. There is a resturant in your hood that serves chitlins, mustard greens and ham hocks, or neck bone with rice and gravy.
317. you have a hospital bed in your house.
319. you and your brother wear the same clothes.
320. you jerk and pop it to full gospel music.
321. you sample R&B music for new full gospel music.
322. you shout in church just to see how long the ushers take to get to you.
323. you have a home made license plate on the back of your car.
324. you ride around with a plastic bag in place of the missing window for a week.
325. you wear your PE uniform to school.
326. you eat rice and eggs for breakfast and dinner.
327. you ever told your kids Santa Clause was on a fixed income.
328. you ever stuffed your kids' stockings with charcoal on Christmas Eve.
329. you and your mother are fighting over the same man.
330. you have ever worn a gold chain with a Mercedes symbol.
331. you have ever worn stirrups, pumps, and socks, all at the same time.
332. you have ever worn a vest with glitter.
333. correction- you've worn anything with glitter on it.
334. you still get Easter outfits.
335. you wear it to school on Monday.
336. you wear leg warmers and a skirt.
337. you refer to getting drunk as any of the following; Messed up, Toasted, Towe-Up-From-Da-Flo'-Up, nice, ripped, buzzed.
338. you spell GIRL: Gurl, Grrl.
339. your lampshade still has plastic on it.
340. your mama has the plastic on her furniture that can cut you.
341. you leave you X Mas lights on all year.
342. you have faux wood paneling wallpaper.
343. you have more dishes in your bedroom than in your kitchen.
344. you've actually invited someone to talk to your hand.
345. you've called a radio station for any reason but to request a song.
346. you light your cigarette on thr stove.
347. you have a brother who thinks his name is "Brother".
348. you ever used the word, "biotch", "bizznatch", or "hoochie".
349. your car has more than three things broken.
350. your car is more than 8-feet long.
